Episode #30: JUPITER ASCENDING, DUKE OF BURGUNDY, and THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER

Maybe this rocketboot chase will disguise the fact that this movie fucking sucks!

Maybe this rocket boot chase will disguise the fact that this movie fucking sucks!

We spend a lot of time this week on JUPITER ASCENDING, and not because it’s good. Because – JAYSUS – it’s really, really bad. Like, so bad. You think THE MATRIX sequels were bad? YOU AIN’T SEEN NOTHIN’ YET. This movie is a cesspool of overused ideas and underbaked plotlines. Gah. Evan and Dave absolutely lose their minds. Dave says “It’s so stupid” about a million times. At least Sean Bean survives (holy shit)! At least Kris makes an attempt at putting the movie in a broader cultural context (in his estimation: the Wachowskis made a Y.A. movie on purpose). Plus, Kris finally pissed Dave off, and not the other way around!

Then Kris briefs us on DUKE OF BURGUNDY (which he recommends) and THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER (which he reluctantly recommends). Tangents this week include a dip into TITANIC, the new MAGIC MIKE movie, STEP UP, how much arm strength actors have, PLANES, TRAINS, & AUTOMOBILES,and the phrase “show your ass.” It all makes sense in the end. We swear.

Listen Here:

Download Here – and don’t forget to subscribe on iTunes! Call us at 862-21PIECE (862-217-4323) or send us an e-mail: spoilerpiece gmail.com.

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