Episode #186: “Bilal: A New Breed of Hero,” “Private Benjamin,” and “The Last of the Mohicans”

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After wondering what kind of person show up to a movie 15 minutes late, the guys get into an oldie-but-goodie kinda week on Spoilerpiece. Evan breaks down PRIVATE BENJAMIN (3:25), a funny feminist-ish Army-ish comedy starring Goldie Hawn as a woman who joins up because she really doesn’t have anything else to do. Then Dave gets into THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS (13:27), the Michael Mann-directed Daniel Day-Lewis-starring French and Indian War epic. Technically, BILAL: A NEW BREED OF HERO (23:27) is new to the United States, but it’s been out overseas quite a while. Kris and Evan discuss its flaws (many) and virtues (also many), and how it features stories outside the normal American purview.

Check out this week’s episode of Spoilerpiece Theatre!

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Episode #65: HE NAMED ME MALALA, DRUNK STONED BRILLIANT DEAD, and TWIXT

Malala in HE NAMED ME MALALA

Malala is such an inspiration. It’s a shame her documentary is so patronizing.

Kris and Evan fly duo this week since Dave can’t make it, but at least he’s able to call in and share a strange dream he had. After Evan and Kris ponder its meaning, they dive into this week’s movies. Kris starts off by reviewing the documentary HE NAMED ME MALALA, which disappointingly patronizes its subject. Then Evan talks about the documentary DRUNK STONED BRILLIANT DEAD, a funny, fast-moving movie with great music that recounts the history National Lampoon Magazine. Finally, both of them discuss TWIXT, a bizarre film by Francis Ford Coppola that neither of them knew about until they watched it on Netflix. They quickly discovered why. It’s just a strange flick that baffles them for a million reasons. Tangents this week include Crean family holiday movies and actors who are difficult to work with.
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Episode #64: THE MARTIAN, THE WALK, and TIME OUT OF MIND

Matt Damon in THE MARTIAN

Matt Damon is the most natural he’s ever been in THE MARTIAN

Bob Chipman aka The Movie Bob fills in for Dave, who is unfortunately absent due to dental work this week. Bob reminisces with Evan and Kris about movies named after job titles before jumping into conversation about THE MARTIAN. All three of them saw it, and all three agree it’s a great film. Evan’s a bit disappointed by some aspects of the book that were cut, but Kris loves that it lets scientists be scientists and Bob hopes that it inspires a million kids to go to space camp. Then Bob and Evan discuss THE WALK, a film that features Joseph Gordon-Levitt as a cartoonish Frenchman. Both thought they might hate it, so they were pleasantly surprised by how much they dug its playful nature. And last but not least, Evan briefly reviews Oren Moverman’s TIME OUT OF MIND, which makes a great statement about homelessness, even though nothing really happens in it.
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Episode #60: THE TRANSPORTER: REFUELED, A WALK IN THE WOODS, A HARD DAY, and STEVE JOBS: THE MAN IN THE MACHINE

Ed Skrein has moved beyond cars in

Ed Skrein has moved beyond cars in “The Transporter Refueled.”

This week, the guys develop a new expression after Dave shares how common his last name is in Indiana. Then he leads off with his take on Alex Gibney’s documentary STEVE JOBS: THE MAN IN THE MACHINE, which he alternatively dubs THE MAN IN THE MIDDLE. Then Kris discusses how THE TRANSPORTER: REFUELED has more memorable product placement than fight scenes before Dave dives into the Korean action film A HARD DAY. In the process of talking about it, he realizes that he probably should watch more Korean movies. Last, but not least, Evan closes things out by pondering the inexplicable age gap between the characters in A WALK IN THE WOODS and their real life counterparts. He also laments its total lack of conflict, while simultaneously celebrating Nick Nolte’s performance in it.

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Episode #59: WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS, 10,000 SAINTS, and DIGGING FOR FIRE

Zac Efron in WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS

Zac Efron doesn’t play a young Robert Loggia in WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS, but that would be much better than this movie.

The guys open this week’s episode with a discussion on Deez Nuts’s candidacy for president. Then Kris and Evan rip into WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS, which they agree does NOT star Zac Efron as a young Robert Loggia. Their agitated commentary is enough to leave Dave “slack-jawed and open-mouthed.” After Kris expresses confusion over more celebrities (this time Brian Austin Green and Ian Ziering), Dave takes over to share his thoughts on two fucking horrible movies. First up is TEN THOUSAND SAINTS, where the most interesting character dies 15 minutes in and Ethan Hawke plays almost the same character he did in BOYHOOD. Second is DIGGING FOR FIRE, one of the whitest movies Dave has ever seen. Joe Swanberg’s film is about dull white people with dull white people problems, and it’s so bad that it makes Dave’s soul die a little bit.

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Episode #58: AMERICAN ULTRA, THE GIFT, CALL ME LUCKY, and PEOPLE PLACES THINGS

Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Steward in American Ultra

This picture is way cooler than anything that happens in AMERICAN ULTRA.

Movies like woah on this week’s Spoilerpiece. First, Evan teases the book about ‘80s films that he’s been working on with his friend Bryan Krull, prompting a deeper conversation on ‘80s movies. Then Dave shares his thoughts on THE TRIBE because he finally saw it. Evan’s up next to talk about how THE GIFT subverts expectations, before Dave goads him into spoiling the movie’s big twist. After that, Evan and Kris discuss why they weren’t fans of AMERICAN ULTRA (hint: it’s about a stoner secret agent and plotted like a stoner wrote it). Dave follows up by quickly exploring why PEOPLE PLACES THINGS is so sluggish and by-the-numbers. And last, but not least, Kris reviews CALL ME LUCKY, a great documentary by Bobcat Goldthwait about Boston comedian and activist Barry Crimmins.

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Episode #57: THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E., PHOENIX, and STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON

Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer on a scooter in THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.

Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer during one of the best scenes in THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.

Dave is back again on this week’s Spoilerpiece (which makes two weeks in a row)! The fellas talk about silly t-shirts they wish they could own, including one in particular that Kris wanted as a kid. Then the guys take on a bumper crop of movies. Kris and Evan are up first with their thoughts on Guy Ritchie’s hyper-styled adaptation of THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E., which has a great performance by Armie Hammer and one of the worst car chases Kris has ever seen. Dave delivers praise for PHOENIX, while wondering what the plural of the word is (phoenices?). Once he’s done talking up the film’s perfectly composed photography, interesting post-World War II story, and its Hitchcock-ian flavor, Evan and Kris round things out with STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON. Both of them discuss why they love the movie (because fuck the po-lice) and how its casting is fantastic.

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