Roland Emmerich’s STONEWALL throws bricks at historical accuracy.
Dave makes a historic Spoilerpiece proclamation! But first Evan and Kris tease their coverage of THE MARTIAN by telling Dave about the book. It’s a busy day on the show with lots of ground to cover. Kris starts off by sharing what fucking disaster Roland Emmerich’s STONEWALL is and how it insultingly makes up facts. Then Dave gives his first positive review of the week in describing Regina Casé’s beautiful performance in THE SECOND MOTHER. Evan’s up next to spoilerpiece Dave and Kris into wanting to see Denis Villeneuve’s suspenseful film SICARIO. Dave jumps in after that with a (gasp) second positive review to describe the good mind fuckery of BLIND and finally, Evan talks about why he thinks De Niro’s performance in THE INTERN might be his best of the millennium.
Kris says Johnny Depp’s peformance is good DESPITE his makeup in BLACK MASS
Dave is back this week to offer his take on GRANDMA, which echoes Sean’s sentiments about the film. Then he goes back to hating on Joe Swanberg for DIGGING FOR FIRE and derides Mumblecore movies in general, before Evan and Kris review the Johnny Depp Whitey Bulger film BLACK MASS. Kris thinks Depp’s performance is good despite his makeup and Evan agrees since he found several scenes chilling. Overall they spend a lot more time discussing better gangster movies like THE DEPARTED and GOODFELLAS, which should tell you something. Dave wraps everything up by talking about the documentary THE BLACK PANTHERS: VANGUARD OF THE REVOLUTION, which he says is a bit one-sided, but totally watchable and really well-done.
Zac Efron doesn’t play a young Robert Loggia in WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS, but that would be much better than this movie.
The guys open this week’s episode with a discussion on Deez Nuts’s candidacy for president. Then Kris and Evan rip into WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS, which they agree does NOT star Zac Efron as a young Robert Loggia. Their agitated commentary is enough to leave Dave “slack-jawed and open-mouthed.” After Kris expresses confusion over more celebrities (this time Brian Austin Green and Ian Ziering), Dave takes over to share his thoughts on two fucking horrible movies. First up is TEN THOUSAND SAINTS, where the most interesting character dies 15 minutes in and Ethan Hawke plays almost the same character he did in BOYHOOD. Second is DIGGING FOR FIRE, one of the whitest movies Dave has ever seen. Joe Swanberg’s film is about dull white people with dull white people problems, and it’s so bad that it makes Dave’s soul die a little bit.
This picture is way cooler than anything that happens in AMERICAN ULTRA.
Movies like woah on this week’s Spoilerpiece. First, Evan teases the book about ‘80s films that he’s been working on with his friend Bryan Krull, prompting a deeper conversation on ‘80s movies. Then Dave shares his thoughts on THE TRIBE because he finally saw it. Evan’s up next to talk about how THE GIFT subverts expectations, before Dave goads him into spoiling the movie’s big twist. After that, Evan and Kris discuss why they weren’t fans of AMERICAN ULTRA (hint: it’s about a stoner secret agent and plotted like a stoner wrote it). Dave follows up by quickly exploring why PEOPLE PLACES THINGS is so sluggish and by-the-numbers. And last, but not least, Kris reviews CALL ME LUCKY, a great documentary by Bobcat Goldthwait about Boston comedian and activist Barry Crimmins.
How the fuck did Josh Gad and Peter Dinklage end up in PIXELS?
This week Dave tells everyone more about why he loves HIDING OUT with John Cryer and poses an interesting theory about Jim Carrey before Kris shares that he was wearing flannel before it was cool. Evan kept his promise to see THE TRIBE so he can’t wait to share his thoughts about how fucked up its graphic scenes of violence and sex are. Then he tries to summarize the plot for PIXELS, while explaining how terrible it is to Dave and Kris. Thankfully Kris shifts momentum to discuss SOUTHPAW, which is about a boxer who isn’t a southpaw, but he does have his own entourage. Dave wraps up the episode by reviewing INFINITELY POLAR BEAR, a film he enjoyed where Mark Ruffalo plays the kind of bipolar father who tells rivers to go fuck themselves.
“Chappie,” before he gets his ass blown off and rebooted by a dull Dev Patel.
It’s CHAPPIE time on Spoilerpiece Theatre! We delve deeply into Neill Blomkamp’s latest dystopian sci-fi flick, which two-thirds of the guys like; talk about Yolandi and Ninja from Die Antwoord; debate the merits of cold pizza on an episode of “Cooking with Kris”; take cheap shots at Nickelback; run through the list of fake names Bart supplies Moe the Bartender with on The Simpsons; rip on the title of THE SECOND BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL; and Kris and Dave tell Evan he needs to listen to more Prince.
Hey! It’s just like the mirror trick in the first movie! But this time we’re older and it’s also totally not funny or inventive!
Ooh! We got your Oscar talk right here! So we’re talking about the glitz, glamor and gauche nonsense that is the Academy Awards. But first we hit the movies we saw this week. Kris made it through THE DUFF, a high school movie that, for Kris, doesn’t rank among the great high school movies. Then Evan and Dave saw HOT TUB TIME MACHINE 2—and they’re dumber for it. On the plus side, we rip on the Oscars. Dave GOES OFF on the Oscar voter featured in “The Hollywood Reporter,” Kris enlightens us with jobs at NASA with funny names, and Evan explains the reason for his particular pronunciation of the word “biopic.”