CHAPPIE, Die Antwoord, and cold pizza on Episode #34

“Chappie,” before he gets his ass blown off and rebooted by a dull Dev Patel.

It’s CHAPPIE time on Spoilerpiece Theatre! We delve deeply into Neill Blomkamp’s latest dystopian sci-fi flick, which two-thirds of the guys like; talk about Yolandi and Ninja from Die Antwoord; debate the merits of cold pizza on an episode of “Cooking with Kris”; take cheap shots at Nickelback; run through the list of fake names Bart supplies Moe the Bartender with on The Simpsons; rip on the title of THE SECOND BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL; and Kris and Dave tell Evan he needs to listen to more Prince.

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The Oscars, THE DUFF, and HOT TUB TIME MACHINE 2 on Episode #32

Hey! It's just like the mirror trick in the first movie! But this time we're older and it's also totally not funny or inventive!

Hey! It’s just like the mirror trick in the first movie! But this time we’re older and it’s also totally not funny or inventive!

Ooh! We got your Oscar talk right here! So we’re talking about the glitz, glamor and gauche nonsense that is the Academy Awards. But first we hit the movies we saw this week. Kris made it through THE DUFF, a high school movie that, for Kris, doesn’t rank among the great high school movies. Then Evan and Dave saw HOT TUB TIME MACHINE 2—and they’re dumber for it. On the plus side, we rip on the Oscars. Dave GOES OFF on the Oscar voter featured in “The Hollywood Reporter,” Kris enlightens us with jobs at NASA with funny names, and Evan explains the reason for his particular pronunciation of the word “biopic.”

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JUPITER ASCENDING, DUKE OF BURGUNDY, and THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER on Episode #30

Maybe this rocketboot chase will disguise the fact that this movie fucking sucks!

Maybe this rocket boot chase will disguise the fact that this movie fucking sucks!

We spend a lot of time this week on JUPITER ASCENDING, and not because it’s good. Because – JAYSUS – it’s really, really bad. Like, so bad. You think THE MATRIX sequels were bad? YOU AIN’T SEEN NOTHIN’ YET. This movie is a cesspool of overused ideas and underbaked plotlines. Gah. Evan and Dave absolutely lose their minds. Dave says “It’s so stupid” about a million times. At least Sean Bean survives (holy shit)! At least Kris makes an attempt at putting the movie in a broader cultural context (in his estimation: the Wachowskis made a Y.A. movie on purpose). Plus, Kris finally pissed Dave off, and not the other way around!

Then Kris briefs us on DUKE OF BURGUNDY (which he recommends) and THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER (which he reluctantly recommends). Tangents this week include a dip into TITANIC, the new MAGIC MIKE movie, STEP UP, how much arm strength actors have, PLANES, TRAINS, & AUTOMOBILES,and the phrase “show your ass.” It all makes sense in the end. We swear.

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A MOST VIOLENT YEAR and BLACK OR WHITE on Episode #29

“Baby, I love you, but quit talking to me like we’re in a 1950s gangster picture.”

As the Beastie Boys said, “Another plane, another train, another bottle in the brain, another girl, another fight, another drive all night.” What does that have to do with Spoilerpiece? IT’S MIDNIGHT, WHO KNOWS, DON’T JUDGE US. What we do know is that we got through 24 inches of snow (that’s twice the length of “Informer,” as far as we know) and convened for a late episode discussing the Mike Binder-directed Kevin Costner vehicle BLACK OR WHITE and J.C. Chandor’s third flick, A MOST VIOLENT YEAR. We also got into tangents about parking, abandoning cars, and Kris had a great story about drunk wasps. Evan didn’t leave his house for two days and there are birds in Dave’s bedroom. It was, as Dave’s college R.A. would have said, a fuggin’ week.

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BLACKHAT AND AMERICAN SNIPER on Episode #27

Chris Hemsworth is a hacker who can also masterfully shoot guns in

Chris Hemsworth is a hacker who can also masterfully shoot guns in “Blackhat.”

Well, it finally happened. A movie made Evan really, really angry. And the thing that made him angry is a movie he otherwise liked. That’s right, gang! It’s Michael Mann’s BLACKHAT (which Dave didn’t know was Michael Mann until five minutes before the screening), and AMERICAN SNIPER. Plus, Kris has the best line of the night in his one-sentence description of Chris Hemsworth’s character in BLACKHAT. Anyway, there are plentiful tangents, and we also wanted to say thank you for listening! Last week was our most downloaded yet.

Listen Here:

Download Here – and don’t forget to subscribe on iTunes! Call us at 862-21PIECE (862-217-4323) or send us an e-mail: spoilerpiece gmail.com.