Malala is such an inspiration. It’s a shame her documentary is so patronizing.
Kris and Evan fly duo this week since Dave can’t make it, but at least he’s able to call in and share a strange dream he had. After Evan and Kris ponder its meaning, they dive into this week’s movies. Kris starts off by reviewing the documentary HE NAMED ME MALALA, which disappointingly patronizes its subject. Then Evan talks about the documentary DRUNK STONED BRILLIANT DEAD, a funny, fast-moving movie with great music that recounts the history National Lampoon Magazine. Finally, both of them discuss TWIXT, a bizarre film by Francis Ford Coppola that neither of them knew about until they watched it on Netflix. They quickly discovered why. It’s just a strange flick that baffles them for a million reasons. Tangents this week include Crean family holiday movies and actors who are difficult to work with.
Matt Damon is the most natural he’s ever been in THE MARTIAN
Bob Chipman aka The Movie Bob fills in for Dave, who is unfortunately absent due to dental work this week. Bob reminisces with Evan and Kris about movies named after job titles before jumping into conversation about THE MARTIAN. All three of them saw it, and all three agree it’s a great film. Evan’s a bit disappointed by some aspects of the book that were cut, but Kris loves that it lets scientists be scientists and Bob hopes that it inspires a million kids to go to space camp. Then Bob and Evan discuss THE WALK, a film that features Joseph Gordon-Levitt as a cartoonish Frenchman. Both thought they might hate it, so they were pleasantly surprised by how much they dug its playful nature. And last but not least, Evan briefly reviews Oren Moverman’s TIME OUT OF MIND, which makes a great statement about homelessness, even though nothing really happens in it.
Roland Emmerich’s STONEWALL throws bricks at historical accuracy.
Dave makes a historic Spoilerpiece proclamation! But first Evan and Kris tease their coverage of THE MARTIAN by telling Dave about the book. It’s a busy day on the show with lots of ground to cover. Kris starts off by sharing what fucking disaster Roland Emmerich’s STONEWALL is and how it insultingly makes up facts. Then Dave gives his first positive review of the week in describing Regina Casé’s beautiful performance in THE SECOND MOTHER. Evan’s up next to spoilerpiece Dave and Kris into wanting to see Denis Villeneuve’s suspenseful film SICARIO. Dave jumps in after that with a (gasp) second positive review to describe the good mind fuckery of BLIND and finally, Evan talks about why he thinks De Niro’s performance in THE INTERN might be his best of the millennium.
Kris says Johnny Depp’s peformance is good DESPITE his makeup in BLACK MASS
Dave is back this week to offer his take on GRANDMA, which echoes Sean’s sentiments about the film. Then he goes back to hating on Joe Swanberg for DIGGING FOR FIRE and derides Mumblecore movies in general, before Evan and Kris review the Johnny Depp Whitey Bulger film BLACK MASS. Kris thinks Depp’s performance is good despite his makeup and Evan agrees since he found several scenes chilling. Overall they spend a lot more time discussing better gangster movies like THE DEPARTED and GOODFELLAS, which should tell you something. Dave wraps everything up by talking about the documentary THE BLACK PANTHERS: VANGUARD OF THE REVOLUTION, which he says is a bit one-sided, but totally watchable and really well-done.
PUT DOWN the damn camera girl and grab a weapon to use against your Nana
Sean Burns joins Evan and Kris this week, vowing to up the episode’s profanity quotient since he’s filling for Dave. But Evan does a pretty good job of that himself, cursing out M. Night Shyamalan’s found footage horror film THE VISIT. Although Evan can’t stand the movie, Kris doesn’t actually hate everything about it and manages to sell Sean on seeing it. After they get through that slog, Sean talks about how entertaining Lily Tomlin is in GRANDMA and how crazy it was seeing her around Sundance with Jane Fonda. Then he wraps everything up with 90 MINUTES IN HEAVEN, the boring Christian film that stars Hayden Christensen with a creepy mustache and drawl. How boring is it? Sean needed three tries to get through it without falling asleep. Given its lack of excitement, it’s not surprising that the guys end up hitting a number of tangents instead of discussing the movie in depth.
Zac Efron doesn’t play a young Robert Loggia in WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS, but that would be much better than this movie.
The guys open this week’s episode with a discussion on Deez Nuts’s candidacy for president. Then Kris and Evan rip into WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS, which they agree does NOT star Zac Efron as a young Robert Loggia. Their agitated commentary is enough to leave Dave “slack-jawed and open-mouthed.” After Kris expresses confusion over more celebrities (this time Brian Austin Green and Ian Ziering), Dave takes over to share his thoughts on two fucking horrible movies. First up is TEN THOUSAND SAINTS, where the most interesting character dies 15 minutes in and Ethan Hawke plays almost the same character he did in BOYHOOD. Second is DIGGING FOR FIRE, one of the whitest movies Dave has ever seen. Joe Swanberg’s film is about dull white people with dull white people problems, and it’s so bad that it makes Dave’s soul die a little bit.
This picture is way cooler than anything that happens in AMERICAN ULTRA.
Movies like woah on this week’s Spoilerpiece. First, Evan teases the book about ‘80s films that he’s been working on with his friend Bryan Krull, prompting a deeper conversation on ‘80s movies. Then Dave shares his thoughts on THE TRIBE because he finally saw it. Evan’s up next to talk about how THE GIFT subverts expectations, before Dave goads him into spoiling the movie’s big twist. After that, Evan and Kris discuss why they weren’t fans of AMERICAN ULTRA (hint: it’s about a stoner secret agent and plotted like a stoner wrote it). Dave follows up by quickly exploring why PEOPLE PLACES THINGS is so sluggish and by-the-numbers. And last, but not least, Kris reviews CALL ME LUCKY, a great documentary by Bobcat Goldthwait about Boston comedian and activist Barry Crimmins.