ROUGH NIGHT, THE BOOK OF HENRY, 47 METERS DOWN, and HELL HOUSE LLC on Episode #153

Zoe Kravitz, Jillian Bell, Scarlett Johansson, Ilana Glazer, and Kate McKinnon in ROUGH NIGHT.

ROUGH NIGHT is pretty rough. Too bad it’s not funnier.

We begin episode 153 with a brief discussion of annoying T-shirts. Then it’s on to the annoying ROUGH NIGHT (3:35). More like ROUGH MOVIE, AMIRITE? Anyspray, it has Kris saying more than once, “I wish it were funnier.” Then Evan regales Kris and Dave with the truly fucked-up sounding THE BOOK OF HENRY (31:38), a movie that feels as if it’s actually 14 different movies crammed into one. Kris takes us down to the basement for a recap of the creepy HELL HOUSE LLC (43:45), and Dave chomps at the bit to get into 47 METERS DOWN (56:32), a Mandy Moore movie that features some sharks, some blood, and the incomparably not-great Matthew Modine. Stay tuned after the closing credits for extra silliness.

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The Mummy, It Comes at Night, Clueless, and Heat on Episode #152

Film Title: The Mummy

“Russell…your arms were too big to be a mathematician’s in “A Beautiful Mind.” I think they’re waaaaaaay too big to be Dr. Henry Jekyll’s, so just turn into Mr. fuckin’ Hyde, already, OK?”

This week the guys surprise themselves by reflecting more on string cheese than any adult probably should. Then Evan delves into “Crewind,” the segment formerly known as “Catching up with Crean,” to share his experience watching CLUELESS (at 5:14) for the first time and rewatching Michael Mann’s HEAT (at 9:24) on blu-ray. After he’s done talking about the loving satire of CLUELESS and the awesome actors he forgot were in HEAT, he cedes the floor to Dave to cover IT COMES AT NIGHT (at 14:35), the sophomore effort by KRISHA director Trey Edward Shults. Dave explains why the film deserves a second and possibly third viewing, even though nothing really comes at night, before Evan and Kris explain why THE MUMMY (at 39:24) doesn’t deserve a single viewing due to its stupidity and failure to launch Universal’s Dark Universe franchise.

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WONDER WOMAN, TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME, and FAST FIVE Revisited on Episode #151

Gal Gadot in WONDER WOMAN.

Gal Gadot kicks ass in WONDER WOMAN.

While exploring the etymology of the word “sweater” this week, Evan and Dave learn a little more about Kris than they bargained for. Before the guys get to the week’s new release, they offer fresh takes on films they watched a second time. Dave starts with his thoughts on David Lynch’s TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME (at 3:38), which is still longer than it needs to be, but has three powerful set pieces and a bleak narrative where Laura Palmer looks freaked out a lot. Evan is up next, with his insights on FAST FIVE and FURIOUS 6 (at 11:44), two movies that stacked up very differently for him upon second viewing. Then all three guys take on WONDER WOMAN (at 17:50), a picture that’s far better than others in the DCU because it’s funnier, lighter on its feet, and takes itself seriously without going overboard. Their conversation gets slightly heated though, when Evan brings up several gripes he has with it. Wrestling matches are threatened, yet thankfully avoided, brother.

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BAYWATCH and PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES on Episode #150

The cast of BAYWATCH looking way cooler in this photo than they do in the movie.

The cast of BAYWATCH looking way cooler in this photo than they do in the movie.

Hi, kids! Welcome to episode 150 of Spoilerpiece Theatre! It’s a totes spesh episode! So special, in fact, that we forgot to mention it was a special episode until the closing credits. In fairness, our brains were so fried this week by the convoluted plots of the movies we watched, we weren’t able to retain any other information. But we were able to discuss the DUCKTALES theme song before Dave launches into his take on PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES (3:51). Then we get into BAYWATCH (34:13), which everyone saw (even if they all didn’t see each other at the screening). Please make sure you listen after the closing theme song!

Check out this week’s episode of Spoilerpiece Theatre!

Listen:

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ALIEN: COVENANT, THE WEDDING PLAN, and BUSTER’S MAL HEART on Episode #149

Something really gross is about to happen in ALIEN: COVENANT.

Something really gross is about to happen in ALIEN: COVENANT.

After 148 episodes, Evan suddenly airs his distaste for poetry, and in explaining his rationale, he unwittingly realizes the one exception to his rule. Then it’s onward to the week’s movies. First, Dave and Kris go deep on ALIEN: COVENANT (at 6:17), a film that takes the worst ideas of its predecessor PROMETHEUS, and capitalizes on them, by following a group of characters that are morons. Next, Evan covers the Israeli movie THE WEDDING PLAN (at 41:32), where a bride dumped a month before her wedding decides to go ahead with the ceremony anyway?the kind of tale that’s worth watching for its unique story, even though it’s a little slow and long. Evan and Kris close with BUSTER’S MAL HEART (at 53:03), a weird, crazy flick starring MR. ROBOT’s Rami Malek, and a charismatic conspiracy theorist played by DJ Qualls, that has the exact sense of irony that Kris appreciates.

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SNATCHED and RISK on Episode #148

Goldie Hawn and Amy Schumer in SNATCHED.

Goldie Hawn and Amy Schumer in the uneven comedy SNATCHED.

On this week’s episode, the guys stumble onto a question for actor Ken Marino that they never knew they had, while discussing DVD menus. After briefly reviving their time-honored hey-o gag during some pre-show shenanigans, they delve into the week’s movies. First, Kris briefly shares the adrenaline rush he felt watching John Woo’s FACE/OFF (at 5:51) with a very appreciative crowd on the big screen following a Nicolas Cage-themed burlesque show. Next, Dave describes the documentary RISK (at 12:05), which fortunately isn’t from the people who brought you BATTLESHIP. Instead it’s a sparsely narrated chronicle about WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange with more lawyers on screen than you can count. Lastly, Evan and Kris review the Amy Schumer/Goldie Hawn comedy SNATCHED (at 32:04), an uneven film that pulls back in strange places and doubles down in what the heck ways. As a special treat, stay tuned after the closing for a mini sing along the guys had when they got on the mic this week.

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GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 and IFFBoston 2017 on Episode #147

Baby Groot about to adorably destroy the world in GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2.

Baby Groot about to adorably destroy the world in GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2.

After last week’s audio snafu, the guys make good on their promise to upgrade their recording equipment, but they’re too busy talking about Batman chins to pat themselves on the back for very long at the start of this week’s episode. In other news, both Kris and Evan attended IFFBoston, so they share the highlights of their festival experiences (starting at 5:20), by firing through brief reviews of movies they saw together like FOR AHKEEM, (at 9:42), LA BARRACUDA (at 12:52), and MENASHE (at 18:18), as well as numerous ones they saw separately. After they blast through several short reviews of other films, all three guys review Marvel’s GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 (at 40:02), which strangely borrows heavily from STAR TREK V for its plot. This sequel is clunky in the middle for its emphasis on numerous characters’ backstories, but its humor, art direction, and soundtrack are still on point.

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