ANOMALISA, 13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI, and MUSTANG on Episode #79

Anomalisa

After a discussion of their favorite unorthodox movie quotes, the guys kick off this week’s episode with a conversation about ANOMALISA, a film that neither Kris nor Dave enjoys. Kris describes it as a 60 minute idea in a 90 minute movie, while Dave harps on its unlikable main character and the fact that nothing happens. Dave likes like long movies where nothing happens, but apparently not short ones. Following some general talk about Charlie Kaufman movies, Evan and Kris jump into 13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI, a movie that Evan is super fired up to talk about. Not even a shirtless John Krasinski can stop him from ripping into its awful sense of time, complete lack of subtlety, and its brazen celebration of masculinity. A brief interlude on conspiracy theories almost threatens to derail the show, although the guys hold it together so Evan can describe MUSTANG, a French film set in Turkey with a great sense of humor, a strong feminist bent, and a fuck you ending that he really digs.

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THE REVENANT, THE FOREST, and DRINKING BUDDIES on Episode #78

The Revenant

Some of the crazy eye and mouth acting done by DiCaprio in THE REVENANT.

The guys are back in full force this week to discuss the finer points of linguistics before they review THE REVENANT. Dave considers it his holy grail because it has everything he could hope for: it’s long, quiet, not a lot happens, and there’s some good killing. Kris and Evan enjoy it as well for its technical prowess, although they never felt plugged into its story. After a CROCODILE DUNDEE II reference, Kris transitions to talking about THE FOREST, a terrible horror film that he describes in such vivid detail that he accidentally sells Dave and Evan on seeing it. Then all three delve into another one of Dave’s favorite movies: DRINKING BUDDIES. They explore its complicated relationship dynamics and talk more about Joe Swanberg as a filmmaker. Expect to hear a little more about DIGGING FOR FIRE. You’ve been warned.

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BROOKLYN, LOVE THE COOPERS, COBRA, and BEVERLY HILLS COP on Episode #70

Rags the dog in LOVE THE COOPERS

Oh hey, it’s the narrator from LOVE THE COOPERS….Steve Martin…the dog.

Dave has a gift for Evan and Kris that’s really more of a present for himself, although it does offer a great set up for this episode of 80s Piece…er…Spoilerpiece Theatre. First, Evan shares his thoughts about the dog shit holiday film LOVE THE COOPERS, which features Steve Martin as a canine narrator. Next up is Dave, to talk about BROOKLYN, a movie that’s beautifully acted and looks wonderful, but has several Irish names that he can’t pronounce. However the episode’s main event is that all three of the guys have seen both COBRA and BEVERLY HILLS COP, two pictures that were made under very similar circumstances. In discussing COBRA Kris observes Marion Cobretti’s pornographic glee in dispatching bad guys, Dave sees how it rips off DIRTY HARRY, and Evan notices its odd product placement. They can all agree that BEVERLY HILLS COP knows exactly what kind of movie it is, has amazing improvisation, and features Eddie Murphy walking around, fuckin’ owning every place he goes.

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THE VISIT, GRANDMA, and 90 MINUTES IN HEAVEN on Episode #61

Olivia DeJonge in THE VISIT

PUT DOWN the damn camera girl and grab a weapon to use against your Nana

Sean Burns joins Evan and Kris this week, vowing to up the episode’s profanity quotient since he’s filling for Dave. But Evan does a pretty good job of that himself, cursing out M. Night Shyamalan’s found footage horror film THE VISIT. Although Evan can’t stand the movie, Kris doesn’t actually hate everything about it and manages to sell Sean on seeing it. After they get through that slog, Sean talks about how entertaining Lily Tomlin is in GRANDMA and how crazy it was seeing her around Sundance with Jane Fonda. Then he wraps everything up with 90 MINUTES IN HEAVEN, the boring Christian film that stars Hayden Christensen with a creepy mustache and drawl. How boring is it? Sean needed three tries to get through it without falling asleep. Given its lack of excitement, it’s not surprising that the guys end up hitting a number of tangents instead of discussing the movie in depth.

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FANTASTIC FOUR, SHAUN THE SHEEP, RICKI AND THE FLASH, and THE STANFORD PRISON EXPERIMENT on Episode #56

FANTASTIC FOUR poster

This poster is more exciting than the entire movie of FANTASTIC FOUR

On this week’s episode Kris shares his plans to weaponize peeing babies with Dave and Evan, before Evan tears FANTASTIC FOUR a new one. The film is terrible in many ways, but Evan just can’t let go of one particularly obnoxious plot hole. After the three of them engage in some Tenacious D-inspired swearing, Dave talks about SHAUN THE SHEEP, a delightful movie that everyone should see. Kris then discusses how Meryl Streep’s Republican grocery store cashier safely rebels through rock music in the confusing RICKI AND THE FLASH. Somehow that leads to Dave and Evan singing about squirrels. Finally, Evan closes everything out with THE STANFORD PRISON EXPERIMENT, a picture that would work better as a documentary, rockumentary, or shockumentary than the flat, repetitive narrative that it is. For some reason all the roads lead back to urine and squirrels in this episode.

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BLACKHAT AND AMERICAN SNIPER on Episode #27

Chris Hemsworth is a hacker who can also masterfully shoot guns in

Chris Hemsworth is a hacker who can also masterfully shoot guns in “Blackhat.”

Well, it finally happened. A movie made Evan really, really angry. And the thing that made him angry is a movie he otherwise liked. That’s right, gang! It’s Michael Mann’s BLACKHAT (which Dave didn’t know was Michael Mann until five minutes before the screening), and AMERICAN SNIPER. Plus, Kris has the best line of the night in his one-sentence description of Chris Hemsworth’s character in BLACKHAT. Anyway, there are plentiful tangents, and we also wanted to say thank you for listening! Last week was our most downloaded yet.

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