STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER, CATS, and BLACK CHRISTMAS on Episode #284

Rey holds her lightsaber by her side while she looks aggressively ahead in the movie Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
How the heck does Rey even get over here to fight Kylo Ren? Who knows!

After an extensive discussion over whether soggy cereal is yay or nay proposition, Megan talks about the latest remake of BLACK CHRISTMAS (4:39). This one has a feminist bent that Megan welcomed. Then it’s CATS (19:54). No descriptions here – just listen. Finally, it’s STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER (29:37), about which the gang has lots and lots and LOTS of things to say about the story and how it stacks up against THE LAST JEDI and the movies that came before it.

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ATLANTICS, QUEEN & SLIM, and KNIVES AND SKIN on Episode #282!

Daniel Kaluuya and Jodie Turner-Smith in “Queen & Slim.”

Before we get into tha main flix this week, we get into the various mispronunciations of each co-host’s last name. You know what never stops frosting your ass? GETTING YOUR NAME SAID INCORRECTLY YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. Anyspray, after that series of gripes, Megan breaks down ATLANTICS (6:03), and QUEEN & SLIM (15:04). Finally, everyone saw KNIVES AND SKIN (33:00)…or, rather, two-thirds of the gang saw it. And one-third saw most it. Is KNIVES AND SKIN a shit show? What’s that saying about the pope and the woods?

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“Stuber,” “Murder Mystery,” “The Spy Who Dumped Me” and Ridley Scott’s “Someone to Watch Over Me” (briefly), and Hitchcock’s “To Catch a Thief” on Episode #261

Good news, everyone! Evan watched the Adam Sandler/Jennifer Aniston Netflix flick MURDER MYSTERY (6:03) so you don’t have to! And is it good? Well…it’s not terrible. That’s something. Kris caught the new Dave Bautista/Kumail Nanjiani vehicle (ha) STUBER (18:43), a comedy with better action scenes than comedy scenes. Then it’s time to keep up with the Jensons, as Kris re-watched THE SPY WHO DUMPED ME (30:15) and has some new insight into the opening 15 minutes that kind of drove all three guys nuts. Then in a sort-of Riedel’s recap, Dave talks about Ridley Scott’s SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME (32:35), a forgotten thriller in the director’s canon. Finally, because it’s a slow new-release week, Evan, Kris, and Dave watched Alfred Hitchcock’s TO CATCH A THIEF (37:40), which none of them had seen before. Spoiler alert: Lesser Hitchcock is still pretty fun. Patrons! Thank you for your patronage and don’t forget to vote in our poll!

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SHAFT, THE LAST BLACK MAN IN SAN FRANCISCO, I AM MOTHER, and ALWAYS BE MY MAYBE on Episode #257

Jessie T. Usher, Samuel L. Jackson and Richard Roundtree dressed in sunglasses and red coats with black turtlenecks in the movie Shaft
Three generation of Shafts come together, but that doesn’t make SHAFT any better.

After debating whether Janis Joplin wanted a pizza your heart, Kris, Evan, and Dave get down to the diverse slate of movies this week on Spoilerpiece. First up is festival-favorite THE LAST BLACK MAN IN SAN FRANCISCO (3:50). Then it’s SHAFT (16:12), which is not another reboot of SHAFT, but a sequel to SHAFT. Did that make sense? Yeah, SHAFT doesn’t either. Then Dave and Evan get into I AM MOTHER (33:45), a new Netflix flick about a robot that may or may not be evil. Then it’s ALWAYS BE MY MAYBE (45:48), with Ali Wong and Randall Park.

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DARK PHOENIX, AMERICAN WOMAN, and BED AND SOFA (1927) on Episode #256

On this week’s episode, Kris sells Dave on BED AND SOFA (3:36), made in the USSR in 1927, and his favorite of his recent dive into classic Russian/Soviet film. It’s often described as “scandalous” but it’s so much more than that, and well worth your time whether or not you’re familiar with the era. Then Dave recaps AMERICAN WOMAN (16:58), a film that can get mired in melodrama but is anchored by good direction from Jake Scott and a phenomenal performance by the underappreciated Sienna Miller. Kris wraps things up with DARK PHOENIX (31:09), which sucks.

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The FYRE FESTIVAL documentaries on Netflix and Hulu, and Adam McKay’s VICE on Episode #238

Fyre

Because everyone is talking about the Fyre Festival documentaries on Netflix (FYRE) and Hulu (FYRE FRAUD), Kris, Dave, and Evan dive headlong into the two competing flicks (5:14). Think there isn’t enough Fyre disaster to support two documentaries? Think again! Then it’s onto Adam McKay’s VICE starring Christian Bale as Dick Cheney. Why is it Kris’ nomination as the worst movie to ever receive a Best Picture Oscar nomination? Explanations begin at 26:11. On our exclusive Patreon audio segment this week, we have a chat about how much we love the late Bill Paxton, and whether it’s possible to get the clap in space.

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NIGHT SCHOOL and NAPPILY EVER AFTER with guest Shauna Harris on Episode #220

Kevin Hart and Tiffany Haddish standing in a high school hallway talking to Taran Killam in the movie Night School.

Given its all-star cast of comedians NIGHT SCHOOl should be much funnier.

It’s Dave’s last week on Spoilerpiece for a while, as his family is about to expand by one person and he’s preparing for massive sleep deprivation. Kris couldn’t make the show (because he had to attend a screening) and Dave couldn’t do a late show, so the excellent Shauna Harris sits in. She and Evan saw all of NAPPILY EVER AFTER (3:52) and Dave saw half of it. The entire gang saw NIGHT SCHOOL (27:59), the new Kevin Hart vehicle. One movie everyone is on board with, and one movie everyone is not. Be sure to check our Patreon for extra audio at patreon.com/spoilerpiece.

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HEREDITARY, TAG, AMERICAN ANIMALS, and SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD on Episode #205

hereditary

Toni Collette is scared by something in Hereditary, which could be anything, because Hereditary is, uh, scary.

Evan is getting married this weekend! Before his brief break from the show for his honeymoon, he shares his thoughts on watching SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD (6:10) for the dozenth time, a movie that does not lose anything on repeat viewings. Next, Dave gets everyone unexpectedly excited about AMERICAN ANIMALS (8:21), revealing that it’s not just another cool-guy heist movie but an examination of the formation, execution, and consequences of a monumentally bad idea. Next, Kris and Dave talk about how much TAG sucks. (18:37) Finally, the moment all (okay, some) have been waiting for, the full Spoilerpiecing of HEREDITARY (37:08). Kris thinks it’s a modern classic, Dave thinks it’s short of that but still very impressive in some ways, particularly the performances and an exceptional turn by Toni Collette.

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RED SPARROW, MUTE, and ROMAN J. ISRAEL, ESQ. on Episode #190

Jennifer Lawrence wearing red in RED SPARROW.

J-Law looking like Dave and Kris felt after seeing her latest movie RED SPARROW.

After some discussion of weather, moods, and major singing in the cold open, the guys get down to tha movies. ROMAN J. ISRAEL, ESQ. is the focus of this week’s installment of “Keeping Up with the Jensons” (3:59). (Kris is trying to see all the Oscar nominees before Academy Awards ceremony.) Then Evan regales everyone with his breakdown of MUTE (12:39), Duncan Jones’ new weirdo flick starring Alexander Skarsgård as a mute guy trying to find his girlfriend. Note: Paul Rudd is the heavy in this one. Lastly, Kris and Dave talk about RED SPARROW (27:30), the new Jennifer Lawrence/Francis Lawrence collaboration with an ending you should see coming, but the preview audience was totes surprised.

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FIFTY SHADES FREED and THE 15:17 TO PARIS on Episode #187

Dakota Johnson as Anastasia Steele and Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey at their wedding in FIFTY SHADES FREED.

Marriage is the least insane thing to happen to Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey in FIFTY SHADES FREED.

This week starts with the guys yakking about the READY PLAYER ONE trailer, since Dave and Evan were forced to watch it twice in one sitting. The rest is about two new pictures coming to theaters. First, Kris reviews FIFTY SHADES FREED (3:41), the final chapter in the franchise, which he says redefines the term “captive audience.” Kris laughs at its batty kidnapping plot and explains how it connects to FIFTY SHADES DARKER, a movie that recently made him subscribe to HBO, just so he didn’t have to buy it on Amazon. Next, Evan and Dave take on Clint Eastwood’s THE 15:17 TO PARIS (29:22), a film so bad it actually makes Evan jealous of Kris. They rail against Eastwood’s decision to use real people instead of actors, its terrible dialogue, and its boring focus on minutiae.

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