J-Law looking like Dave and Kris felt after seeing her latest movie RED SPARROW.
After some discussion of weather, moods, and major singing in the cold open, the guys get down to tha movies. ROMAN J. ISRAEL, ESQ. is the focus of this week’s installment of “Keeping Up with the Jensons” (3:59). (Kris is trying to see all the Oscar nominees before Academy Awards ceremony.) Then Evan regales everyone with his breakdown of MUTE (12:39), Duncan Jones’ new weirdo flick starring Alexander Skarsgårdas a mute guy trying to find his girlfriend. Note: Paul Rudd is the heavy in this one. Lastly, Kris and Dave talk about RED SPARROW (27:30), the new Jennifer Lawrence/Francis Lawrence collaboration with an ending you should see coming, but the preview audience was totes surprised.
Marriage is the least insane thing to happen to Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey in FIFTY SHADES FREED.
This week starts with the guys yakking about the READY PLAYER ONE trailer, since Dave and Evan were forced to watch it twice in one sitting. The rest is about two new pictures coming to theaters. First, Kris reviews FIFTY SHADES FREED (3:41), the final chapter in the franchise, which he says redefines the term “captive audience.” Kris laughs at its batty kidnapping plot and explains how it connects to FIFTY SHADES DARKER, a movie that recently made him subscribe to HBO, just so he didn’t have to buy it on Amazon. Next, Evan and Dave take on Clint Eastwood’s THE 15:17 TO PARIS (29:22), a film so bad it actually makes Evan jealous of Kris. They rail against Eastwood’s decision to use real people instead of actors, its terrible dialogue, and its boring focus on minutiae.
Lotsa movies on this week’s episode! First up is Dave with MY LEFT FOOT (4:21), the film that arguably sealed Daniel Day-Lewis’s reputation as the world’s most committed screen actor. Next, Evan runs us through MOONSTRUCK (12:45), a romantic romp with folks who just can’t stop getting hit in the eye by amore. Dave then perseveres through his disdain for the MAZE RUNNER series by explaining how it limps along into its third installment, THE DEATH CURE (20:25). Dave and Evan then dive into Academy Award-nominated MUDBOUND (33:08), before Kris and Dave wrap things up with HOSTILES (47:09), two very different movies that confront America’s inability to confront its own history of racism and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Josh Brolin berates a seemingly eyebrowless Miles Teller in ONLY THE BRAVE.
This episode begins with epic tales of Dave’s film school smoking habits, which were quite epic. Then it’s on to the main event, where Kris tells of his recent Netflix adventures with BIG MOUTH (5:45), the new animated show featuring Nick Kroll, John Mulaney, Jessi Klein, and a host of guest stars. It cuts deep with the preadolescent awkwardness, but it’s worth your time. Next up is THEY LOOK LIKE PEOPLE (11:35), an atmospheric, psychological horror film about two friends: one who is having a slow psychotic break where he can’t trust anything he sees or hears, and the other whose entire existence is a facade erected to protect is insecurity. It’s great, and Kris convinces Dave and Evan to see it right away. Last up is ONLY THE BRAVE (32:37) a true-ish story about the Granite Mountain Hotshots, whose heroism deserves a much more thoughtful, intelligent, and coherent movie than the one they got.
“Russell…your arms were too big to be a mathematician’s in “A Beautiful Mind.” I think they’re waaaaaaay too big to be Dr. Henry Jekyll’s, so just turn into Mr. fuckin’ Hyde, already, OK?”
This week the guys surprise themselves by reflecting more on string cheese than any adult probably should. Then Evan delves into “Crewind,” the segment formerly known as “Catching up with Crean,” to share his experience watching CLUELESS (at 5:14) for the first time and rewatching Michael Mann’s HEAT (at 9:24) on blu-ray. After he’s done talking about the loving satire of CLUELESS and the awesome actors he forgot were in HEAT, he cedes the floor to Dave to cover IT COMES AT NIGHT (at 14:35), the sophomore effort by KRISHA director Trey Edward Shults. Dave explains why the film deserves a second and possibly third viewing, even though nothing really comes at night, before Evan and Kris explain why THE MUMMY (at 39:24) doesn’t deserve a single viewing due to its stupidity and failure to launch Universal’s Dark Universe franchise.
Michelle Rodriguez deserves better than THE ASSIGNMENT.
This week during a conversation about the new Domino’s commercials that parody FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF, Dave shares a seemingly small aspect of the movie that really gets under his skin. Next he and Evan review THE ASSIGNMENT (at 7:56), a truly awful film by Walter Hill about a hitman (Michelle Rodriguez) who undergoes forced gender reassignment surgery, and seeks revenge on her mad scientist tormentor (Sigourney Weaver). They pick apart its terrible makeup, its endless exposition, its uninteresting revelations, and its nonsensical plot, which they argue no one could be good in. After that, Kris spoilerpieces ALI: FEAR EATS THE SOUL (at 36:30), a German film he was inspired to watch by Roger Ebert’s “The Great Movies.” He reveals why it’s worth watching, as he describes how the movie’s poignant, complicated love story addresses racism without sensationalizing it.
Jake Gyllenhaal being very un-Jake Gyllenhall in LIFE.
This week the guys attempt to answer the age old question, “Who’s the luckiest person in show business?” with mixed results. Each of them have some catching up to do on movies that they’ve seen, so they do some quick recaps (starting at 4:26) before they dive into these week’s movies. Kris shares short takes on BEAUTY AND THE BEAST and PERSONAL SHOPPER, prior to Evan offering brief thoughts on 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE, and Dave revealing what he took away from the rest of OJ: MADE IN AMERICA. After that Kris and Evan discuss WILSON (at 19:32), a film based on a Daniel Clowes graphic novel, where Woody Harrelson plays a guy walking through life telling everyone bullshit and acting like an asshole. Then all three guys discuss the sci-fi horror movie LIFE (at 41:11) which has great actors giving mediocre performances. They compare various parts to 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, and ALIEN, however they describe why it gets dumber the more you think about it.