Category Archives: Evan gets angry

05.10.19
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POKEMON DETECTIVE PIKACHU and THE WHITE CROW on Episode #252

Detective Pikachu looking cute and cuddly
Is Detective Pikachu cute? Yes. Is he funny? Hell no.

This week Dave shares why he’s training for the New York Marathon and details his preparations for the big race. Next Evan shares his thoughts on THE INTRUDER (4:00), which he and Shauna watched based on Kris’s recommendation. After they delve into nuances and plot holes from the movie, Dave jumps in to review THE WHITE CROW (13:05), a Ralph Fiennes film based on a true story he didn’t realize that he knew until halfway through. Following a JOHN WICK tangent, Kris and Evan tackle POKÉMON DETECTIVE PIKACHU (23:05) aka POKÉMON DETECTIVE, a movie neither thinks is good, but one of them found more egregious. Tune in to find out who and to hear Evan educate Dave and Kris about Pokémon.

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01.04.19
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BIRD BOX, THE FAVOURITE, and IF BEALE STREET COULD TALK on Episode #234

Sandra Bullock tries to save her kids in BIRD BOX or “QUIET PLACE for eyes” as Kris calls it.

Happy New Year Spoilerpiece fans! This week the guys start out by revealing their unconventional New Year’s Eve plans. For films, there are three on the docket, and everyone has seen them, which makes for lively discussion! First, the guys review THE FAVOURITE (4:48), a period piece by Yorgos Lanthimos that Kris and Dave loved, but Evan couldn’t stand. Next they cover IF BEALE STREET COULD TALK (17:37), the beautiful Barry Jenkins movie they all agree is fantastic because the theme of love permeates it. Lastly, the guys take on the much-discussed Sandra Bullock Netflix original BIRD BOX (30:17), a tense horror flick with good performances that is stunted by numerous flaws. If all that’s not enough, you can also hear exclusive audio of the guys discussing New Year’s Eve movies if you sign up and support them this week on Patreon.

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02.09.18
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FIFTY SHADES FREED and THE 15:17 TO PARIS on Episode #187

Dakota Johnson as Anastasia Steele and Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey at their wedding in FIFTY SHADES FREED.

Marriage is the least insane thing to happen to Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey in FIFTY SHADES FREED.

This week starts with the guys yakking about the READY PLAYER ONE trailer, since Dave and Evan were forced to watch it twice in one sitting. The rest is about two new pictures coming to theaters. First, Kris reviews FIFTY SHADES FREED (3:41), the final chapter in the franchise, which he says redefines the term “captive audience.” Kris laughs at its batty kidnapping plot and explains how it connects to FIFTY SHADES DARKER, a movie that recently made him subscribe to HBO, just so he didn’t have to buy it on Amazon. Next, Evan and Dave take on Clint Eastwood’s THE 15:17 TO PARIS (29:22), a film so bad it actually makes Evan jealous of Kris. They rail against Eastwood’s decision to use real people instead of actors, its terrible dialogue, and its boring focus on minutiae.

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12.30.16
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PATRIOTS DAY and The Worst Movies of 2016 on Episode #129

Kevin Bacon, Mark Walhberg, and John Goodman in PATRIOTS DAY

Mark Wahlberg as the made up know-it-all cop Tommy Saunders in PATRIOTS DAY

It’s been a rough year, but 2016 has finally come to a close, and not a moment too soon given all of the beloved celebrities who have left us! Unfortunately neither Dave nor Kris could make it for this week’s episode, so special guest stars Charlie Nash and Sean Burns join Evan to put the year to bed. They join forces to tear PATRIOTS DAY a new one (at 4:39). All three of them delve into the reasons this Peter Berg/Mark Wahlberg vehicle about the 2013 Boston Marathon Bombing is insulting to Bostonians — like Walhberg’s made up character, its exploitative shots of grisly carnage, its selective focus on victims, and its hard-on for authoritarianism. Not surprisingly, there is an overlap between that segment and the next one, where the guys discuss the Worst Movies of 2016 (at 33:54). Several films come up that have been mentioned on the show before, although the most spirited debate occurs between Charlie and Sean over ARRIVAL and CAPTAIN FANTASTIC, which make them feel very emotions.

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06.10.16
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THE CONJURING 2, NOW YOU SEE ME 2, TALE OF TALES, and WALK HARD: THE DEWEY COX STORY on Episode #100

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A moment between jump scares in THE CONJURING 2.

Spoilerpiece Theatre turns 100 this week, so the guys do something special to thank their fans! Since it’s the 100th episode that also means Dave has finally seen WALK HARD: THE DEWEY COX STORY. Does he appreciate it as emphatically as Kris? Find out starting at the 4:00 mark. Next Evan and Kris cover THE CONJURING 2 (at 17:53), a super long James Wan horror movie with a lot of jump scares and a lot of little annoying things that make Evan very angry. After his anger cools, Evan reviews NOW YOU SEE ME 2 (at 42:38), which has some great magic scenes, but a convoluted plot that relies too much on you remembering information from the first movie. Lastly, Kris discusses TALE OF TALES (at 54:54), a messed up Italian anthology film that confuses the heck out of Dave and Evan with its interwoven tales that have no connection. Kris uses the conversation as an opportunity to state his case about why there should be more anthology films and television shows.

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01.29.16
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THE FINEST HOURS, MOJAVE, and #OscarsSoWhite in Episode #81

The Finest Hours

Chris Pine’s lazerbeam eyes in THE FINEST HOURS.

Dave starts out by sharing good things about his new outlet, which makes his transition into Riedel’s Recaps quite easy. This time he offers his take on THE MARTIAN, which he really liked despite some miscasting and misacting. It also scored bonus points because it didn’t wake Baby Henry. After a tangent on INTERSTELLAR, Evan jumps in with his opinion about MOJAVE (pronounced MO-JAYVE according to Dave), a movie starring Garrett Hedlund (not Charlie Hunnam) and Oscar Isaac, where pretentious people talk about pretentious things. It’s a shitty movie that actually caused Evan to root against its asshole protagonist. Following tangents about THE DEPARTED, EX MACHINA, and STAR TREK IV, the guys discuss their thoughts on #OscarsSoWhite and the new changes the Academy is making to promote diversity (hint: they like them). Finally, Dave and Kris review THE FINEST HOURS, a B-movie with an A-budget, where only three things happen. Even though nothing happened, it was long enough to make Kris regret not peeing beforehand, so that was something.

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01.22.16
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45 YEARS, DIRTY GRANDPA, GOODNIGHT MOMMY, and ROAR on Episode #80

45 Years

Charlotte Rampling making one of the same faces Dave describes in 45 YEARS.

Dave has a new gig that he’s excited to finally share. After he talks a little about it, Evan and Kris spoil the shit out of GOODNIGHT MOMMY, a creepy film that uses space effectively to keep you on edge. Its intense torture scenes made Evan feel like he had to watch something more uplifting when he was done though. Sticking with unsettling movies, Kris describes ROAR, which he describes as “a thing of pure insanity.” This plot light picture has lots of cuts and lots of big cats. Although sadly, many cast and crew members were seriously injured in the process of making it. Dave changes the episode’s pace by discussing 45 YEARS, a very English, but very good film with Charlotte Rampling about a long marriage that suddenly finds itself on the rocks. Lastly, Evan closes things up by talking about DIRTY GRANDPA, a fucking awful movie that mainly just presents situations for Robert De Niro to be vulgar for no real reason. At least there’s good singing in this episode courtesy of Dave.

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01.15.16
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ANOMALISA, 13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI, and MUSTANG on Episode #79

Anomalisa

After a discussion of their favorite unorthodox movie quotes, the guys kick off this week’s episode with a conversation about ANOMALISA, a film that neither Kris nor Dave enjoys. Kris describes it as a 60 minute idea in a 90 minute movie, while Dave harps on its unlikable main character and the fact that nothing happens. Dave likes like long movies where nothing happens, but apparently not short ones. Following some general talk about Charlie Kaufman movies, Evan and Kris jump into 13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI, a movie that Evan is super fired up to talk about. Not even a shirtless John Krasinski can stop him from ripping into its awful sense of time, complete lack of subtlety, and its brazen celebration of masculinity. A brief interlude on conspiracy theories almost threatens to derail the show, although the guys hold it together so Evan can describe MUSTANG, a French film set in Turkey with a great sense of humor, a strong feminist bent, and a fuck you ending that he really digs.

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01.08.16
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THE REVENANT, THE FOREST, and DRINKING BUDDIES on Episode #78

The Revenant

Some of the crazy eye and mouth acting done by DiCaprio in THE REVENANT.

The guys are back in full force this week to discuss the finer points of linguistics before they review THE REVENANT. Dave considers it his holy grail because it has everything he could hope for: it’s long, quiet, not a lot happens, and there’s some good killing. Kris and Evan enjoy it as well for its technical prowess, although they never felt plugged into its story. After a CROCODILE DUNDEE II reference, Kris transitions to talking about THE FOREST, a terrible horror film that he describes in such vivid detail that he accidentally sells Dave and Evan on seeing it. Then all three delve into another one of Dave’s favorite movies: DRINKING BUDDIES. They explore its complicated relationship dynamics and talk more about Joe Swanberg as a filmmaker. Expect to hear a little more about DIGGING FOR FIRE. You’ve been warned.

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11.13.15
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BROOKLYN, LOVE THE COOPERS, COBRA, and BEVERLY HILLS COP on Episode #70

Rags the dog in LOVE THE COOPERS

Oh hey, it’s the narrator from LOVE THE COOPERS….Steve Martin…the dog.

Dave has a gift for Evan and Kris that’s really more of a present for himself, although it does offer a great set up for this episode of 80s Piece…er…Spoilerpiece Theatre. First, Evan shares his thoughts about the dog shit holiday film LOVE THE COOPERS, which features Steve Martin as a canine narrator. Next up is Dave, to talk about BROOKLYN, a movie that’s beautifully acted and looks wonderful, but has several Irish names that he can’t pronounce. However the episode’s main event is that all three of the guys have seen both COBRA and BEVERLY HILLS COP, two pictures that were made under very similar circumstances. In discussing COBRA Kris observes Marion Cobretti’s pornographic glee in dispatching bad guys, Dave sees how it rips off DIRTY HARRY, and Evan notices its odd product placement. They can all agree that BEVERLY HILLS COP knows exactly what kind of movie it is, has amazing improvisation, and features Eddie Murphy walking around, fuckin’ owning every place he goes.

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