ALPHA, CRAZY RICH ASIANS, MILE 22, NEVER GOIN’ BACK, SKATE KITCHEN and Crewind on Episode #214

Mark Wahlberg points a gun in a tactical stance with burning cars behind him in Mile 22.

We liked MILE 22 better the first time we saw it when it was called 16 BLOCKS.

Aerosmith has a Las Vegas residency and the guys have thoughts about it before they brainstorm more old-man-injury-themed bands. Evan opens with a Crewind where he recaps his epic double feature of MENACE II SOCIETY and CITY OF GOD (3:12), two excellent movies that make similar statements about the cyclical nature of poverty, crime and corruption. Then Kris takes over to discuss ALPHA (11:18), a film about the first human/canine companionship that he really wishes was better. Next Dave reviews CRAZY RICH ASIANS (26:11), a romantic comedy that largely fits the genre mold aside from the fact that the whole cast is Asian and the male lead is boring. After that Evan quickly covers NEVER GOIN’ BACK and SKATE KITCHEN (39:55), two films written and directed by women (yay) about high school girls cutting loose. Last, and certainly least, Dave and Kris wrap up with MILE 22 (44:47), the choppily edited Mark Walhberg/Peter Berg vehicle that’s too timid to identify the countries it maligns.

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TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT, WAR MACHINE, THE JOURNEY, and THE BAD BATCH on Episode #154

Optimus Prime in TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT

Optimus Prime goes bad in TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT

This week the guys muse about pugs before they dive into their full slate of movies. First Kris deals with TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT (3:20), a movie that feeds into Marky Mark’s savior complex with a story dating back to medieval times. Beaten, a little bruised, and exhausted by its stupidity, Kris passes the baton to Evan, who tackles the Netflix film WAR MACHINE (19:57), a glacially-paced bore with a strangely stacked cast led by Brad Pitt, and a narrator that doesn’t show up until halfway through the picture. Dave enters the fray next with THE JOURNEY (34:14), a decent Irish drama with light comedy and two leads using very different acting styles. Kris wraps everything up with THE BAD BATCH (46:00), a gritty post-apocalyptic Western with Jason Mamoa, Keanu Reeves, and Jim Carrey?! Before signing off, Evan gives a shout out to Max Covill and John Gilpatrick for having him on their show It’s the Pictures to talk about 80s films and his book.

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PATRIOTS DAY and The Worst Movies of 2016 on Episode #129

Kevin Bacon, Mark Walhberg, and John Goodman in PATRIOTS DAY

Mark Wahlberg as the made up know-it-all cop Tommy Saunders in PATRIOTS DAY

It’s been a rough year, but 2016 has finally come to a close, and not a moment too soon given all of the beloved celebrities who have left us! Unfortunately neither Dave nor Kris could make it for this week’s episode, so special guest stars Charlie Nash and Sean Burns join Evan to put the year to bed. They join forces to tear PATRIOTS DAY a new one (at 4:39). All three of them delve into the reasons this Peter Berg/Mark Wahlberg vehicle about the 2013 Boston Marathon Bombing is insulting to Bostonians — like Walhberg’s made up character, its exploitative shots of grisly carnage, its selective focus on victims, and its hard-on for authoritarianism. Not surprisingly, there is an overlap between that segment and the next one, where the guys discuss the Worst Movies of 2016 (at 33:54). Several films come up that have been mentioned on the show before, although the most spirited debate occurs between Charlie and Sean over ARRIVAL and CAPTAIN FANTASTIC, which make them feel very emotions.

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DEEPWATER HORIZON and a Robert Davi Story on Episode #116

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Kurt Russell looking super serious as Mr. Jimmy in DEEPWATER HORIZON.

A conversation about celebrity encounters on this week’s episode leads to an anecdote about Kris’s brief run in with James Taylor. Then the guys jump into the one movie they’re allowed to talk about: DEEPWATER HORIZON. Since other films they’ve seen don’t come out until next week, Kris and Evan go in-depth with this Peter Berg/Mark Wahlberg disaster flick. The picture’s character development is stupid and it doesn’t know which plot points should be explained, but it does a good job playing up the enormity of the events, and Mark Wahlberg is solid as an average guy who rises to the occasion in a way that’s not annoying. Following that conversation, Dave caps off this short episode with an accidental spoilerpiece of the Bond movie LICENCE TO KILL, as he shares his story of meeting Robert Davi.

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GREEN ROOM and ENTOURAGE on Episode #93

Green Room

Patrick Stewart is tremendous as the leader of a white supremacist gang in GREEN ROOM.

Garfield the cat is a beloved character for some, but not for Dave, as you’ll discover in this week’s episode. He has a bone to pick with Garfield’s creator Jim Davis before the show gets underway. After that, the first film on tap is Jeremy Saulnier’s GREEN ROOM, a fucking intense movie about a punk band fighting a group of white supremacists led by Patrick Stewart?! Although Evan is the only one who has seen it, he manages to spoilerpiece Dave and Kris into wanting to watch it ASAP. In discussing this horrifically violent film, the guys diverge into a tangent about other brutal pictures like A SERBIAN FILM, UNFORGIVEN, and brutally long movies like HEAVEN’S GATE. When they get back on track for the week’s second movie, Dave talks about ENTOURAGE, something he watched out of morbid curiosity. Dave shares why it’s a terrible, terrible movie with the dumbest plot he has ever heard in his life. The whole thing has such an effect on him that he even devolves into talking like the guys in the movie. No worries though, the effect isn’t permanent.

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