ROUGH NIGHT, THE BOOK OF HENRY, 47 METERS DOWN, and HELL HOUSE LLC on Episode #153

Zoe Kravitz, Jillian Bell, Scarlett Johansson, Ilana Glazer, and Kate McKinnon in ROUGH NIGHT.

ROUGH NIGHT is pretty rough. Too bad it’s not funnier.

We begin episode 153 with a brief discussion of annoying T-shirts. Then it’s on to the annoying ROUGH NIGHT (3:35). More like ROUGH MOVIE, AMIRITE? Anyspray, it has Kris saying more than once, “I wish it were funnier.” Then Evan regales Kris and Dave with the truly fucked-up sounding THE BOOK OF HENRY (31:38), a movie that feels as if it’s actually 14 different movies crammed into one. Kris takes us down to the basement for a recap of the creepy HELL HOUSE LLC (43:45), and Dave chomps at the bit to get into 47 METERS DOWN (56:32), a Mandy Moore movie that features some sharks, some blood, and the incomparably not-great Matthew Modine. Stay tuned after the closing credits for extra silliness.

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BAYWATCH and PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES on Episode #150

The cast of BAYWATCH looking way cooler in this photo than they do in the movie.

The cast of BAYWATCH looking way cooler in this photo than they do in the movie.

Hi, kids! Welcome to episode 150 of Spoilerpiece Theatre! It’s a totes spesh episode! So special, in fact, that we forgot to mention it was a special episode until the closing credits. In fairness, our brains were so fried this week by the convoluted plots of the movies we watched, we weren’t able to retain any other information. But we were able to discuss the DUCKTALES theme song before Dave launches into his take on PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES (3:51). Then we get into BAYWATCH (34:13), which everyone saw (even if they all didn’t see each other at the screening). Please make sure you listen after the closing theme song!

Check out this week’s episode of Spoilerpiece Theatre!

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SNATCHED and RISK on Episode #148

Goldie Hawn and Amy Schumer in SNATCHED.

Goldie Hawn and Amy Schumer in the uneven comedy SNATCHED.

On this week’s episode, the guys stumble onto a question for actor Ken Marino that they never knew they had, while discussing DVD menus. After briefly reviving their time-honored hey-o gag during some pre-show shenanigans, they delve into the week’s movies. First, Kris briefly shares the adrenaline rush he felt watching John Woo’s FACE/OFF (at 5:51) with a very appreciative crowd on the big screen following a Nicolas Cage-themed burlesque show. Next, Dave describes the documentary RISK (at 12:05), which fortunately isn’t from the people who brought you BATTLESHIP. Instead it’s a sparsely narrated chronicle about WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange with more lawyers on screen than you can count. Lastly, Evan and Kris review the Amy Schumer/Goldie Hawn comedy SNATCHED (at 32:04), an uneven film that pulls back in strange places and doubles down in what the heck ways. As a special treat, stay tuned after the closing for a mini sing along the guys had when they got on the mic this week.

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FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM, NOCTURNAL ANIMALS, and More on Episode #123

fantastic-beasts

FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM (i.e. inside Eddie Redmayne’s suitcase)

We’ve got movies coming out the wazoo this week! First, Dave and Kris tackle the ambitious Harry Potter prequel FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM (at 4:00), which tries to cram five movies into one. Much to their annoyance, only three of those five movies are good. Next, Dave explores NOCTURNAL ANIMALS (at 24:56), writer/director/fashion designer Tom Ford’s sophomore film. It has two stories about toxic masculinity that don’t add up to a whole movie, so during the review Kris develops a new segment called “Dr. Kris, Medicine Man,” where he shares how he’d fix the film. Following that segment, Dave offers his brief thoughts on the music documentaries OASIS: SUPERSONIC and RUSH: TIME STAND STILL, which only seem to be for diehard fans. Evan bats cleanup with three more movies from the Boston Jewish Film Festival (at 51:00): the mediocre crime thriller A GRAIN OF TRUTH, the emotionally compelling documentary FREEDOM TO MARRY, and the thought-provoking comedy doc THE LAST LAUGH.

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QUEEN OF KATWE and THE BEATLES: EIGHT DAYS A WEEK – THE TOURING YEARS on Episode #115

queen-of-katwe-chess

QUEEN OF KATWE hits all the right notes as a fun, inspirational Disney sports movie.

This week the guys get in on the game of using three fictional characters to describe themselves. Then Evan and Kris talk about the 70mm and Widescreen Festival at the Somerville Theatre (at 7:04), where they TRON and SLEEPING BEAUTY. While discussing how beautiful these films look, they each share new elements that they discovered by watching them on the big screen. After that, Dave provides a “Riedel’s Recap” of GREEN ROOM (at 15:56), which offers specific comparisons to Jeremy Saulnier’s previous movie BLUE RUIN. Next, Kris delivers a “Keeping up with the Jensons” about DEMON (at 21:32), where he offers a very different take on the picture than Evan. Dave transitions into THE BEATLES: EIGHT DAYS A WEEK – THE TOURING YEARS (at 29:57), a Ron Howard documentary that attempts to whitewash tensions between the band’s members. Finally, Kris and Evan close out with QUEEN OF KATWE (at 39:10), a Disney sports movie about chess, which is carried by good humor and cute kids learning about life.

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SULLY, MORRIS FROM AMERICA, and SLEEPAWAY CAMP on Episode #113

sully

Tom Hanks as Captain Sullenberger and Aaron Eckhart as his trusty co-pilot Jeff in SULLY.

This week Kris shares the advantages to playing board games with Canadians, before he reviews Clint Eastwood’s latest movie SULLY (at 2:38). The mediocre film has a lot in common narratively with Eastwood’s last effort AMERICAN SNIPER, especially since the same things work well (a focus on the effects of trauma) and the same things don’t (artificially created villains). After Kris explains how the movie ends awkwardly on a joke, Dave delivers a quick “Riedel’s Recap” of DON’T BREATHE (at 19:57). Following the segment, Evan describes the coming-of-age film MORRIS FROM AMERICA (at 20:58), which has great music, and features the fantastic Craig Robinson in a rare dramatic role. Finally, the guys arrive at their main event: the ‘80s horror flick SLEEPAWAY CAMP (at 30:32). They describe its weird flashbacks, its endearing incompetence, and the craziness that runs in its blood as they dig into this time capsule, which 2/3 of them agree is good for what it is. Be sure to stick around post-credits for a completely unrelated bonus story.

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COMPLETE UNKNOWN, THE LIGHT BETWEEN OCEANS, THE INNOCENTS, and MORGAN on Episode #112

Light between oceans

Alicia Vikander and Michael Fassbender in THE LIGHT BETWEEN OCEANS.

Dave is feeling under the weather so fan favorite Dede Crimmins joins Evan and Kris this week. She and Kris lead off by discussing the Massachusetts Independent Film Festival (at 5:02). They share a few of their favorite films, before Dede transitions into COMPLETE UNKNOWN (at 11:41). Dede finds Rachel Weisz’s character fascinating in it, but she wishes there was more to the movie’s simple plot. Next, Kris talks about how war leaves scars long after hostilities end in THE INNOCENTS (at 21:32), a heavy post-World War II film about rescuing babies. Then Evan and Dede review THE LIGHT BETWEEN OCEANS (at 35:46), a long, slow drama about babies and post-war tensions that also stars Rachel Weisz and features Michael Fassbender as a brooding lighthouse hunk. Dede wraps everything up with MORGAN (at 54:16) a mashup of SPLICE, EX MACHINA, and BLADE RUNNER that has the most wasted cast she has ever seen and an ending that thinks it’s clever without actually being clever.

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