Author Archives: Spoilerpiece

04.07.17
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THE ASSIGNMENT and ALI: FEAR EATS THE SOUL on Episode #143

Michelle Rodriguez in THE ASSIGNMENT.

Michelle Rodriguez deserves better than THE ASSIGNMENT.

This week during a conversation about the new Domino’s commercials that parody FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF, Dave shares a seemingly small aspect of the movie that really gets under his skin. Next he and Evan review THE ASSIGNMENT (at 7:56), a truly awful film by Walter Hill about a hitman (Michelle Rodriguez) who undergoes forced gender reassignment surgery, and seeks revenge on her mad scientist tormentor (Sigourney Weaver). They pick apart its terrible makeup, its endless exposition, its uninteresting revelations, and its nonsensical plot, which they argue no one could be good in. After that, Kris spoilerpieces ALI: FEAR EATS THE SOUL (at 36:30), a German film he was inspired to watch by Roger Ebert’s “The Great Movies.” He reveals why it’s worth watching, as he describes how the movie’s poignant, complicated love story addresses racism without sensationalizing it.

Listen:

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03.31.17
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THE ZOOKEEPER’S WIFE and the Boston Underground Film Festival on Episode #142

Jessica Chastain in THE ZOOKEEPER'S WIFE

Jessica Chastain in THE ZOOKEEPER’S WIFE

A sing-along of songs from camp veers into unexpected territory for the guys this week. Before they get into any movies though, they turn their attention to television, as Evan explains his mad quest to watch as many X-FILES episodes as possible for before the show leaves Netflix streaming. After that Kris recaps his time at the Boston Underground Film Festival aka BUFF (at 9:14), where he highlights a number of notable films including PREVENGE, DARK SONG, BUSTER’S MAL HEART, SHE’S ALLERGIC TO CATS, THE VOID, and DAVE MADE A MAZE. Lastly, the guys tackle THE ZOOKEEPER’S WIFE (at 20:00), a movie about a couple played by Jessica Chastain and Johan Heldenbergh who smuggle Jews in Poland to safety during the Holocaust, which does all the things you’ve seen before and wraps them in a story you haven’t. The guys compare the film to others about the Holocaust like SCHINDLER’S LIST, and are disappointed with familiar aspects of those pictures that seep into this movie, but they still laud its moving performances and excellent cast.

Listen:

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03.24.17
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LIFE and WILSON on Episode #141

Jake Gyllenhaal being very un-Jake Gyllenhall in LIFE.

Jake Gyllenhaal being very un-Jake Gyllenhall in LIFE.

This week the guys attempt to answer the age old question, “Who’s the luckiest person in show business?” with mixed results. Each of them have some catching up to do on movies that they’ve seen, so they do some quick recaps (starting at 4:26) before they dive into these week’s movies. Kris shares short takes on BEAUTY AND THE BEAST and PERSONAL SHOPPER, prior to Evan offering brief thoughts on 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE, and Dave revealing what he took away from the rest of OJ: MADE IN AMERICA. After that Kris and Evan discuss WILSON (at 19:32), a film based on a Daniel Clowes graphic novel, where Woody Harrelson plays a guy walking through life telling everyone bullshit and acting like an asshole. Then all three guys discuss the sci-fi horror movie LIFE (at 41:11) which has great actors giving mediocre performances. They compare various parts to 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, and ALIEN, however they describe why it gets dumber the more you think about it.

Listen:

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03.17.17
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BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, PERSONAL SHOPPER, and O.J.: MADE IN AMERICA with Movie Bob on Episode #140

Dan Stevens and Emma Watson in BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Dan Stevens and Emma Watson in the blow by blow remake BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Kris is on a tight deadline and can’t make it this week, so Movie Bob Chipman joins Evan and Dave to discuss logistical questions about day to day operations of the Death Star. Bob shares insights into one of his upcoming videos before being their guest, i.e. reviewing BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (at 6:08). After some tangents about PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN and other live action Disney adaptations, Bob describes why BEAUTY AND THE BEAST is a tribute to itself; a fine, blow by blow remake of the animated movie. Next, all three of them discuss the Oscar-winning documentary O.J.: MADE IN AMERICA (at 22:24), by revealing how it provides deep context into O.J.’s successful athletic career and his abusive past, which leads the guys to ruminate on other celebrities with abusive histories. Finally, Evan and Dave tackle PERSONAL SHOPPER (at 42:26), an Olivier Assayas/Kristen Stewart film that’s oozing with esoteric weirdness and needlessly confusing plot points. Fear not, the show isn’t entirely without Kris! Stay tuned after the closing credits for a brief message from him.

Listen:

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03.10.17
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KONG: SKULL ISLAND and “Riedel’s Recaps” on Episode #139

Tom Hiddleston and Brie Larson looking puzzled in KONG: SKULL ISLAND

Tom Hiddleston and Brie Larson looking puzzled in KONG: SKULL ISLAND

Are movie theaters a safe place for children to play? The guys weigh in with their thoughts on this week’s episode. Following their discussion, Dave offers his latest segment of “Riedel’s Recaps,” where he recounts the shocking, gruesome violence in LOGAN (at 4:27), and describes why he found the film to be a statement against hate. Following some tangents about their favorite comic book movies, and whether there are plot holes in DIE HARD, the guys arrive at the week’s main event, KONG: SKULL ISLAND (at 17:52). They share some serious laughs as they critique the film’s huge cast, its epic carnage, and its wide range of callbacks to other movies. They lament how confused it is about what type of picture it wants to be, however they celebrate its special effects, its long monster takes, and its perfect casting of John C. Reilly.

Listen:

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03.03.17
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LOGAN, TABLE 19, BEFORE I FALL, and MY LIFE AS A ZUCCHINI on Episode #138

Hugh Jackman in his final turn as Wolverine in LOGAN.

Hugh Jackman in his final turn as Wolverine in LOGAN.

Dave had to look after Baby Henry, so BOFCA critic Greg Vellante joins Evan and Kris for this week’s episode. After a brief game of “Get to Know Your Guest Host,” Greg leads off with BEFORE I FALL (at 7:30), the teenybopper version of GROUNDHOG DAY, which he finds forgettable despite its heart. Next Kris discusses TABLE 19 (15:04), a wedding comedy about nothing in particular that he dubs “stay together porn” for its terrible plot involving couples staying together that shouldn’t. After that, Evan and Greg rave about MY LIFE AS A ZUCCHINI (at 29:42), the touching Oscar-nominated animated film about a group of orphans who form a family. Finally, Greg fully loses his Spoilerpiece virginity by spoiling the heck out of LOGAN (at 42:06), the Wolverine movie that he describes as entertaining, unexpectedly moving, and extremely violent.

Listen:

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02.24.17
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GET OUT, Psycho Stalker Weekend, and “Keepin’ Up with the Jensons” on Episode #137

Daniel Kaluuya in Jordan Peele's fantastic directorial debut GET OUT.

Daniel Kaluuya is hypnotized in Jordan Peele’s fantastic directorial debut GET OUT.

This week Evan learns the meaning of the term “hippie lettuce” and the results are mind blowing, well to him anyway. Kris opens with a segment of “Keepin’ up with the Jensons” (at 4:40) where he talks about how great the performances in FENCES are and why he didn’t mind the Google Earth portions in LION as much as other people. Next, Evan shares his psycho stalker weekend. No he didn’t stalk anyone. He just watched THE BOY NEXT DOOR, FATAL ATTRACTION, and SINGLE WHITE FEMALE within two days and dug them all for their unhinged villains and insane plot twists. Lastly, the guys review the horror film GET OUT (at 30:38), Jordan Peele’s tremendous directorial debut, which they all had the privilege of seeing. They have so much fun spoilerpiecing their screening’s engaged audience, the sense of terrifying dread that Peele creates, and all of the subtle foreshadowing Peele lays down for the frightening events that follow, that they end up running a little longer than usual.

Listen:

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02.21.17
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THE GREAT WALL, FIST FIGHT, and I AM NOT YOUR NEGRO on Episode #136

Matt Damon in THE GREAT WALL

Matt Damon fights alongside the Chinese in THE GREAT WALL

At the show’s outset, the guys wonder what a wiki site run by Kris would be like, before they dive into this week’s movies. First, Kris regales Dave and Evan with his thoughts on the cinematic implications of the Chinese/American collaboration THE GREAT WALL (at 3:06), an action film with Matt Damon in a non-white savior role that has great creature design, but ultimately is really dumb. Then Evan spoilerpieces FIST FIGHT (at 26:43), a completely nonsensical, failure of a comedy, that has bloopers funnier than its entire hour and a half runtime. Lastly, he and Dave explore I AM NOT YOUR NEGRO (at 45:42), the Oscar-nominated documentary that describes what it’s like to be black in America through the words of author James Baldwin. The brilliant insights Baldwin reveals really resonate with them intellectually and emotionally, although the documentary’s dense content prompts them to recommend more than one viewing, to take in all of its poignant commentary.

Listen:

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02.10.17
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JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2, THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE, and FLASHDANCE on Episode #135

Keanu Reeves in JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2

Keanu Reeves has his work cut out for him in JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2.

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Although Boston meteorologists predicted that Snowmageddon would decimate the area this week, the guys were still able to record their episode before disaster struck. The show starts with a first, Kris spoilerpiecing vinyl album covers, before Evan shares his experience watching the touchstone ‘80s film FLASHDANCE (at 5:20) for the very first time. He agrees that it’s crazy he hadn’t seen it before, as he discusses how impeccably lit it is, how fantastic its music is, and how sultry its epic dance numbers are under the direction of Adrian Lyne. Next, Dave reviews THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE (at 18:10), which is exactly what you think it would be. Will Arnett is perfect as Batman and the movie is chock full of one-liners, but it doesn’t quite have the same impact as THE LEGO MOVIE. After that Dave and Kris join forces to review JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2 (at 26:50), a movie that they both loved, and not just because it fulfilled one of three big criteria for good films declared by Dave’s uncle. It compellingly continues mythology established in the first picture without retconning, and features dynamite action scenes, as well as Keanu Reeves speaking multiple languages. Lastly, before they completely wrap, the guys take a moment to thank a fan for her kind email.

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02.03.17
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LION, PATERSON, THE RED TURTLE, and a Jim Jarmusch Story on Episode #134

Adam Driver and Golshifteh Farahani make a really sweet couple in PATERSON.

Adam Driver and Golshifteh Farahani make a really sweet couple in PATERSON.

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While discussing highlights of Billy Joel’s musical career on this week’s episode, Kris and Dave enlighten Evan about Joel’s brief metal period in the band Atilla. Without wasting much time after that, the guys get into the week’s movies. First up is Kris, to talk about THE RED TURTLE (at 2:56), one of the shortest spoilerpieces ever, because the sort-of-Studio Ghibli animated film has no dialogue. Kris kind of likes it, although he doesn’t know why. However he does know that he feels the emotions of it. Next is Evan, to discuss LION (at 9:08), a drama about an Indian man played by Dev Patel, who decides to search for the family he was separated from as a child. The film’s first half is heartbreaking and its last act reaches an emotional conclusion, yet Evan feels like its scenes of Patel searching on Google Earth in the middle really drag the story down. Finally, the guys conclude by gushing about PATERSON (at 23:50), Jim Jarmusch’s pleasant, slice-of-life picture about a poet and bus driver played by Adam Driver. They talk about how the movie is about poetry on micro and macro levels, while revealing why it makes you want to sink your teeth into every moment. With a little time left, Dave caps the segment by sharing a brief hilarious encounter he had with Mr. Jarmusch in New York City.

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