In this week’s edition of “We Should Have Known Better,” we cover Liam Neeson’s latest Old Man Neeson actioner, THE ICE ROAD (3:05), this year’s early winner of the “It Wants to be ‘The Wages of Fear’ or even ‘Sorcerer’ but it’s Really Just a Turd” award. Perhaps that’s harsh, but as scary as Canadian ice roads are in April, even scarier is the prospect of a movie filled with half-baked ideas, crummy special effects, and a villain who has more lives than the Energizer bunny. It’s just wretched. But man, was it fun to talk about! Next is FALSE POSITIVE (19:12), which star Ilana Glazer wrote with its director, John Lee. Who doesn’t love pregnancy horror? (Actually, one of us loves pregnancy horror, but sadly, not this film.) In this case, two of us. As Dave puts it, this is a movie that offsets each good idea it has with a bad one. But one of us liked it! (And though he didn’t mention it in the episode, Dave likes Pierce Brosnan’s beard.) Lastly, it’s NO SUDDEN MOVE (40:20), the new Steven Soderbergh thriller starring lots of his favorite people, including Don Cheadle and Benicio Del Toro. It has a little bit of everything, and screenwriter Ed Solomon is a loooong way from Bill & Ted. And in this week’s Patreon exclusive audio, we talk about WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?
Welcome back to Coronapiece Theatre, everyone! Megan, Evan, and Dave are still sheltering in place so it’s more streaming flicks! And there are lots of flicks to stream. This week the gang talks JEZEBEL (2:58), a story about – among other things – sex work; BLOOD ON HER NAME (10:35), a tale of what NOT to do when you’re committing murder; CONTAGION (19:45), Steven Soderbergh’s way-too-prescient bio-horror procedural about a virus that wipes out a whole lotta people; and THE PLATFORM (40:45), one of the most popular movies on Netflix this week. Does this prison flick deserve its place among the popular? The opinions vary! And on our Patreon exclusive, we talk EVE’S BAYOU, director Kasi Lemmons’ debut feature.
This week the guys reminisce about long-gone insults of yesteryear before Kris offers a unique barb of his own design. For the movies, Evan delivers a “Crewind” of G.I. JANE (5:00), the Ridley Scott picture where Demi Moore is a badass Navy SEAL in training trapped in a story that gets a little muddled with conspiracy plots. Next Dave covers TOO FUNNY TO FAIL (17:17), a rollicking documentary on Hulu about the short-lived DANA CARVEY SHOW that explains that the inspiration for some of the show’s best sketches while reflecting on its failure. Then the guys take on SUBURBICON (28:35), a George Clooney film that borrows an old Coen Brothers script, but fails to imitate them effectively. While they chide it for being too heavy-handed and trying to cover too much narrative ground, they can all agree that Oscar Isaac injects much-needed vitality into his brief scenes.
At the show’s outset, the guys wonder what a wiki site run by Kris would be like, before they dive into this week’s movies. First, Kris regales Dave and Evan with his thoughts on the cinematic implications of the Chinese/American collaboration THE GREAT WALL (at 3:06), an action film with Matt Damon in a non-white savior role that has great creature design, but ultimately is really dumb. Then Evan spoilerpieces FIST FIGHT (at 26:43), a completely nonsensical, failure of a comedy, that has bloopers funnier than its entire hour and a half runtime. Lastly, he and Dave explore I AM NOT YOUR NEGRO (at 45:42), the Oscar-nominated documentary that describes what it’s like to be black in America through the words of author James Baldwin. The brilliant insights Baldwin reveals really resonate with them intellectually and emotionally, although the documentary’s dense content prompts them to recommend more than one viewing, to take in all of its poignant commentary.
Sean Burns joins Evan and Dave to discuss why Wesley Snipes movies have the best one-liners in their trailers. Since Sean hasn’t seen the week’s big movie JASON BOURNE (at 3:12), he plays a fun game where he tries to guess its plot while Evan and Dave tell him what he got right. Following some jokes about THE BOURNE LEGACY (or THE BOURNE LAZENBY as Sean calls it), some questions about why we got another Bourne movie, and a tangent on Michael Douglas, Sean covers Woody Allen’s CAFÉ SOCIETY (at 34:10). Listeners know that Dave normally hates Woody Allen, however Sean manages to spoilerpiece him into tolerating the movie by sharing how much Allen gives a shit visually in this 1930s outing. After Sean explores its message that “It ain’t like it used to be, and it never was,” he reviews Sian Heder’s TALLULAH (at 48:52), a strong first effort starring Ellen Page and Allison Janney. From there, they all descend into tangents about the Coolidge’s upcoming horror movie marathon and differing opinions on various De Palma films (mainly Sean and Dave’s).
Bob Chipman aka The Movie Bob fills in for Dave, who is unfortunately absent due to dental work this week. Bob reminisces with Evan and Kris about movies named after job titles before jumping into conversation about THE MARTIAN. All three of them saw it, and all three agree it’s a great film. Evan’s a bit disappointed by some aspects of the book that were cut, but Kris loves that it lets scientists be scientists and Bob hopes that it inspires a million kids to go to space camp. Then Bob and Evan discuss THE WALK, a film that features Joseph Gordon-Levitt as a cartoonish Frenchman. Both thought they might hate it, so they were pleasantly surprised by how much they dug its playful nature. And last but not least, Evan briefly reviews Oren Moverman’s TIME OUT OF MIND, which makes a great statement about homelessness, even though nothing really happens in it.
Hey, peeps! It’s Friday and time to spoil the snot out of new releases! This week it’s Terry Gilliam’s regrettable THE ZERO THEOREM and the Dave-and-Kris-loved-it Denzel Washington kill-fest THE EQUALIZER. Plus, on this episode: TANGENTS. But it wouldn’t be Spoilerpiece without tangents, right?