HE NAMED ME MALALA, DRUNK STONED BRILLIANT DEAD, and TWIXT on Episode #65

Malala in HE NAMED ME MALALA

Malala is such an inspiration. It’s a shame her documentary is so patronizing.

Kris and Evan fly duo this week since Dave can’t make it, but at least he’s able to call in and share a strange dream he had. After Evan and Kris ponder its meaning, they dive into this week’s movies. Kris starts off by reviewing the documentary HE NAMED ME MALALA, which disappointingly patronizes its subject. Then Evan talks about the documentary DRUNK STONED BRILLIANT DEAD, a funny, fast-moving movie with great music that recounts the history National Lampoon Magazine. Finally, both of them discuss TWIXT, a bizarre film by Francis Ford Coppola that neither of them knew about until they watched it on Netflix. They quickly discovered why. It’s just a strange flick that baffles them for a million reasons. Tangents this week include Crean family holiday movies and actors who are difficult to work with.
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THE MARTIAN, THE WALK, and TIME OUT OF MIND on Episode #64

Matt Damon in THE MARTIAN

Matt Damon is the most natural he’s ever been in THE MARTIAN

Bob Chipman aka The Movie Bob fills in for Dave, who is unfortunately absent due to dental work this week. Bob reminisces with Evan and Kris about movies named after job titles before jumping into conversation about THE MARTIAN. All three of them saw it, and all three agree it’s a great film. Evan’s a bit disappointed by some aspects of the book that were cut, but Kris loves that it lets scientists be scientists and Bob hopes that it inspires a million kids to go to space camp. Then Bob and Evan discuss THE WALK, a film that features Joseph Gordon-Levitt as a cartoonish Frenchman. Both thought they might hate it, so they were pleasantly surprised by how much they dug its playful nature. And last but not least, Evan briefly reviews Oren Moverman’s TIME OUT OF MIND, which makes a great statement about homelessness, even though nothing really happens in it.
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BLIND, THE INTERN, THE SECOND MOTHER, SICARIO, and STONEWALL on Episode #63

People in Stonewall the movie

Roland Emmerich’s STONEWALL throws bricks at historical accuracy.

Dave makes a historic Spoilerpiece proclamation! But first Evan and Kris tease their coverage of THE MARTIAN by telling Dave about the book. It’s a busy day on the show with lots of ground to cover. Kris starts off by sharing what fucking disaster Roland Emmerich’s STONEWALL is and how it insultingly makes up facts. Then Dave gives his first positive review of the week in describing Regina Casé’s beautiful performance in THE SECOND MOTHER. Evan’s up next to spoilerpiece Dave and Kris into wanting to see Denis Villeneuve’s suspenseful film SICARIO. Dave jumps in after that with a (gasp) second positive review to describe the good mind fuckery of BLIND and finally, Evan talks about why he thinks De Niro’s performance in THE INTERN might be his best of the millennium.

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FANTASTIC FOUR, SHAUN THE SHEEP, RICKI AND THE FLASH, and THE STANFORD PRISON EXPERIMENT on Episode #56

FANTASTIC FOUR poster

This poster is more exciting than the entire movie of FANTASTIC FOUR

On this week’s episode Kris shares his plans to weaponize peeing babies with Dave and Evan, before Evan tears FANTASTIC FOUR a new one. The film is terrible in many ways, but Evan just can’t let go of one particularly obnoxious plot hole. After the three of them engage in some Tenacious D-inspired swearing, Dave talks about SHAUN THE SHEEP, a delightful movie that everyone should see. Kris then discusses how Meryl Streep’s Republican grocery store cashier safely rebels through rock music in the confusing RICKI AND THE FLASH. Somehow that leads to Dave and Evan singing about squirrels. Finally, Evan closes everything out with THE STANFORD PRISON EXPERIMENT, a picture that would work better as a documentary, rockumentary, or shockumentary than the flat, repetitive narrative that it is. For some reason all the roads lead back to urine and squirrels in this episode.

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ALOHA, SPY, and KURT COBAIN: MONTAGE OF HECK on Episode #47

Screen Shot 2015-06-07 at 10.50.02 AMBefore he escapes Boston for NYC, Sam Cohen makes his first ever podcast appearance as the special guest on this week’s episode. Being the yougin’ that he is, Sam shares his experience watching BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA for the first time. The guys discuss its impending remake along while comparing Kurt Russell and The Rock. Then Sam tells Kris and Evan about Cameron Crowe’s degeneration as a filmmaker with his nonsensical movie ALOHA. None of them know what a gate opening ceremony is or how music by David Bowie can blow up a satellite, but apparently both are important plot elements. Thankfully Kris and Sam saw SPY, which pleasantly surprised both of them. After they tell Evan all about why he should see it, he and Sam finish up the show by talking about KURT COBAIN: MONTAGE OF HECK. Want to find out why the documentary gave Evan all the feels? Then tune in.

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RUN ALL NIGHT, CINDERELLA, and IT FOLLOWS (HORROR) on Episode #35

run-all-night

Liam Neeson in RUN ALL NIGHT

This week’s bullshit segment is brought to you by: horse shit. We all wonder how the special effects guys in BACK TO THE FUTURE III made the manure look so real, and then Dave points out something that Kris never noticed in the first film. Kris is under the weather, but he soldiers through as we discuss RUN ALL NIGHT, CINDERELLA, and IT FOLLOWS. Dave heaps some hate on RUN ALL NIGHT and other Liam Neeson films that piss him off. He mixes up who is Danny and who is Mike in the movie, but it doesn’t matter. All he knows is that one looks like a low rent, Ryan Gosling. Kris gets inspired to start a fairy tale metal band before he and Dave talk about how surprised they are by all the praise CINDERELLA is getting. Their description of it reminds Evan of a SIMPSONS reference. Finally, Evan and Kris talk about how creeped out they were while watching the horror flick IT FOLLOWS. Neither of them scare easily, so you know it has to be good.

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A MOST VIOLENT YEAR and BLACK OR WHITE on Episode #29

“Baby, I love you, but quit talking to me like we’re in a 1950s gangster picture.”

As the Beastie Boys said, “Another plane, another train, another bottle in the brain, another girl, another fight, another drive all night.” What does that have to do with Spoilerpiece? IT’S MIDNIGHT, WHO KNOWS, DON’T JUDGE US. What we do know is that we got through 24 inches of snow (that’s twice the length of “Informer,” as far as we know) and convened for a late episode discussing the Mike Binder-directed Kevin Costner vehicle BLACK OR WHITE and J.C. Chandor’s third flick, A MOST VIOLENT YEAR. We also got into tangents about parking, abandoning cars, and Kris had a great story about drunk wasps. Evan didn’t leave his house for two days and there are birds in Dave’s bedroom. It was, as Dave’s college R.A. would have said, a fuggin’ week.

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THE BOY NEXT DOOR, STILL ALICE, CAKE, AND SONG ONE on Episode #28

"Hey, Jennifer...I think this movie we're shooting may actually be really bad..."

“Hey, Jennifer…I think this movie we’re shooting may actually be really bad…”

HEY-O! It’s an especially dirty episode this week as we tackle movies with explicit sex and plots that make us swear in disbelief. That’s right, gang! It’s THE BOY NEXT DOOR, the Jennifer Lopez comeback vehicle that, if there’s any justice, will soon be playing at midnight shows alongside THE ROOM. Kris and Dave could NOT believe how awful it is – and they highly recommend it. Plus, Evan lays out the coma-filled grief-sex feature SONG ONE, and Kris explains that, in many ways, STILL ALICE and CAKE are the same movie. Plus, we talk about LAW & ORDER: SVU, and we’d love to know from you what movies we should commentary.

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THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY – Part 1 and CALVARY on Episode #19

hunger-games-mockingjay-part-1

Can you say marketing ploy? That’s right! It’s our yap-fest about THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY PART 1, a movie we can’t stop discussing even though we try to many times. Then we talk about CALVARY and wonder why Brendan Gleeson isn’t a star. But perhaps most strangely, Evan lets Dave stroll through his Tinder account while Kris seems aghast.

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